Family Update February 9, 2013

So, life in our house has been pretty interesting lately! 

Tyler* started pre-school in October and LOVES it!  His teachers are so nice and patient!  I’ve seen him change so much in the past few months.  He is singing, counting, saying the alphabet, and can even spell his name!  We are finally getting somewhere with genetics testing and other learning evaluations.  Several doctors and other professionals have suggested he ranks on the lower end of the Autism spectrum or Asperger’s syndrome.  We don’t have a diagnosis as of right now, but we hope to have one soon.  Every test result we get seems to get a little closer to understanding his learning difficulties and how to help him grow.  Because he struggles so much, every accomplishment he has is a joyous occasion.  He brings such a tender light to our lives.  We are so proud of him.

Another benefit of Tyler going to school is that I get four mornings a week to spend with Jake* one-on-one (we also try to take turns so we can have one-on-one time with Alex every week also).  I think this is something he has been craving and truly needing.  Spending so much time with just Jake has allowed me to bond with him in a way I couldn’t when both boys were together all day long.  He is talking a lot more instead of screaming as a first response to everything.  Jake is also beginning to pick up a lot of new concepts.  He can tell you his name, how to spell it and how old he is!  Jake loves to be outside, throw balls, and pretend to be animals.  He is definitely boy, through and through!  Jake is also a wonderful friend.  He is kind to babies (he tries to feed them and always makes sure they have something to play with) and loves to try to get little friends to play with him.  We are still working on his temper, but I can tell he is starting to figure out how to cope with his emotions. 

We are currently filling out the adoption paperwork and hope to be finished with that whole process by fall.  We are ready to have them be officially ours. 

On top of all the therapies, trainings, paperwork, meetings, school (Tyler and Chris), and all the other billion things we do everyday, we are trying to buy a house.   So far, we haven’t really found anything we love.  I’m sure the right house will come along and everything will work out how God wants it too.  

After all, God keeps his promises.

*the boys’ names were changed to protect their identities 

February 9, 2013

On August 28, 2011 I became a foster mom.  Two little boys came into my life and changed it forever.  This year, I will be able to lose the title “foster” and finally be their forever mom.  I can’t describe in words, or in a blog, what it feels like to go from a caregiver of two little strangers to being their “Mommy.”  Or what it feels like to go from being screamed at for hours on end, to having them say, “I love you too” for the first time.  It’s been quite the journey.  I am so thankful that God carried me every step of the way.  His gentle and consistent guidance over the last year and half forever cemented this truth in my heart: God keeps his promises…every time.

“I am blessed beyond belief.  Thank you Lord, for loving me so much.  I don’t deserve it.  Thank you for blessing my life and trusting me with these two little treasures.  They didn’t grow in my womb, but you grew them in my heart.  You have been cultivating my heart since childhood in preparation for them.  Thank you for not giving me what I thought I wanted, but giving me what I needed.  Thank you for keeping your promise. I love you, Lord.  Amen.”

August 2012

What a mighty God we serve!

Thinking back over this last year brings tears to my eyes.  It's been wonderful, challenging, heartbreaking, emotional, and full of ups and downs.

The last time I posted on this blog, Tyler* and Jake* were very new to our home.  They screamed for hours on end because they were scared, insecure, and didn't know how to tell us what they were feeling.  Needless to say, the first three months seemed to drag on and on.  I was just about at my breaking point when the boys started to make progress.  The first time Tyler used sign language to ask for "more" macaroni-n-cheese instead of screaming, I literally burst into tears.  

Since then, both Tyler and Jake have grown so much.  Through Speech, Physical, and Occupational therapy (and lots of patient parenting from Chris and I), both boys are growing by leaps and bounds.  They both are learning how to communicate their emotions instead of throwing tantrums.  Learning this has taken quite a while and remains a daily struggle.  Tyler can count to 11 and Jake can count to 7.  Both boys can identify quite a few shapes and colors.  Tyler is almost fully potty trained (nighttime is still a struggle).  We started potty training Jake last Friday and he is doing fantastic with it.  I was worried about potty training Jake because he is a pretty strong willed child, but he hasn't really fought me on it.  I think he was just ready.  Jake knows just about all the basic animal sounds and enjoys making them any chance he gets.  

We love going to the zoo (Thank you Mamaw for the season pass).  We go several times a month.  Going to the park is one of our regular activities as well.  When the boys first came to us, they had no idea how to climb on playground equipment or what to do at a park.  Now, They run, climb, slide, and swing their way around like pros!  Several months ago we took them swimming for the first time.  Tyler loved it!  Jake didn't like it quite as much.  We have gone several times since then and I think he is warming up to it.  We also took them to their first movie recently.  We saw Madagascar 3.  They absolutely loved it and were enthralled the whole time!  We also saw Brave and the new Ice Age movie.  Eight, maybe even six months ago, the thought of doing so many activities would have produced quite a bit of anxiety for me.  I just can't believe how far they have come and how they are flourishing.  It makes me want to cry, laugh, and jump for joy all at the same time.  :  )

We have several things we are looking forward to.  Tyler will be starting pre-school in a couple months (*sniffle*).  It will be hard for me to not have him with me all day, but I am excited to see him grow and make friends.  We are also awaiting some very crucial test results that will hopefully give us a diagnosis on Tyler so we can make a developmental plan.  

Most importantly, we are expecting to begin the adoption process on October 17th.  We already have an adoption specialist assigned to our case.  We are just waiting for the go ahead.  We are very anxious to begin.  We love these two precious little boys with all our hearts.  Thank you, Lord, for bringing these boys into our lives.  We couldn't be happier.  It amazes me how God knows exactly what we need and when to give it to us.  What a mighty God we serve, indeed!

God keeps His promises.

*boy's names were changed to protect their identity

Parenthood, here we come!

Monday, August 29th, Chris and I became foster parents.

We are blessed to care for two wonderful little boys.  These two brothers are energetic and definitely full of mischief.

Tyler*, the big brother, is 2 1/2.  We think he has Autism and are eagerly awaiting tests and a diagnosis so we can begin therapy.  We can't wait to see him bloom.

Jake*, the little brother, is 14 months.  He is happy, rambunctious, and has beautiful big blue eyes framed with some of the longest eyelashes I have ever seen!  As far as we can tell, he is developmentally right on track.

These boys came  to us when we least expected it.  I decided to get a job at Chick-fil-A.  I was so excited to be back at work and around people all day again.  Staying home seems like fun, but it's actually pretty boring and lonely.  The only reason I wasn't working was because I didn't want to leave someone hanging when we got a placement because we knew I wanted to stay home.  Needless to say, the first week in, I got a call.  Of course I was ecstatic because this is exactly what we were waiting for, but I also felt really bad about leaving Chick-fil-A so quickly.  But, they seem to be doing ok.  :  )

Anyways, we welcomed them on Monday and it has been an interesting few days.  We finally got the child safety locks on the cabinets.  Hallelujah!!  Tyler definitely loves to open and close things, especially doors and draws (and of course Jake is quick to follow!).  I think we are finally starting to get organized and into a routine.

All I can say is that God works when you least expect it.  It may be a challenge to work on God's timeline, but it is well worth the wait. :  )

God keeps His promises.


*name changed to protect identity

And Another One Bites the Dust...

I got a phone call today.  Yet again, a potential foster placement fell through.

Chris and I were really trying not to get excited this time, but it's so hard.  We want to prepare ourselves for every new situation that presents itself.  Then, when it falls through, its like having the wind knocked right out of you.  It feels like we've waited for so long.  It seemed like this one was finally going to happen and then...nothing.  Our (mental/emotional) nest is empty once again.

I know God has a plan for us and the right children will come along.  It's just devastating to learn each of these children's stories, get mentally prepared to take them into our home/lives/hearts, and have it all end with one phone call.

I guess we will just keep waiting.

God Keeps His Promises

Almost a year ago, God began an extra special work in my life.

From day one, God blessed me with a family and parents that continually lift me up in prayer and who provided me with the foundation for a life filled with Christ.  I can't remember a time in my past where God's love wasn't abundant.  I am blessed beyond measure.

When I got to my senior year of high school, I turned my back on God's plan for my life.  I deliberately chose sin over holiness and rejected God's precious love.  I was angry.  I didn't know why I was so angry, but I couldn't get past it.  I am so blessed to say that even during this time of anger and rebellion, God never left my side.

My anger and selfishness continued on into my marriage.  Between working full time, going to school, and trying to figure out how to share my life with someone in a marriage relationship, I continued to neglect my relationship with God.  I worked as a preschool teacher, never really making friends or feeling like I belonged.  My relationship with my husband weakened due to my issues of insecurity and my anger.  God was not invited into my marriage.  Little did I know, He was there the whole time.

You see, God loves me.  It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but He truly cares for me.  He has chosen to bless me in my early life so He can use me to do GREAT things in His name.  Why He would choose me is absolutely a mystery.  I am nothing compared to His great love.  I am so humbled when He reveals His working hand that I am reduced to tears every time.

He is truly amazing.  I marvel at His greatness.

Almost a year ago this July, God started softening my heart.  The years of bitterness towards Him and the church were slowly being turned into something malleable.  He began to poke and prod at every given opportunity.  One day, late July of 2010, as I sat in the second morning service at Woodmen Valley Chapel, I heard God speak.  He said that Chris and I wouldn't be able to have kids of our own and that it was time to accept His purpose for our lives.

Anyone who knows me, knows that my heart is 100% devoted to children.  Even in my own childhood, all I wanted to do was play with baby dolls.  I've been a nurturer from day one.  So, hearing God speak these words was devastating.  It wounded me to my very core.  There is no other way to express it than utter defeat.  Any ounce of rebellion I had stored up, any anger that I had been using was gone.  I felt empty.  The heart throbbed so aggressively that all I could do was sob.

The hurt of these words continued to eat away at me for months and led to a deep depression.  I felt betrayed by God, guilty that I couldn't give Chris a child, and confounded at how this could possibly be the best path for God to chose for my life.  I prayed and begged for answers.  Slowly, He began to reveal them one by one.

In August of 2010, I felt a sharp prompting to leave my job at Kinder Care.  I loved my students there, but I felt like there was something else I was supposed to be doing.  Unaware of where God was leading me, I gave my director a three week notice and waited for direction.  I had one week of actual work left and two weeks of paid vacation.  I was starting to panic.  I just kept praying, "Lord, you told me leave, now show me where to go."  Sure enough, during my last week of work, I got a job nannying one of the kids from my classroom.

I was glad God gave me a job so quickly, but I still couldn't see what He was doing.  As I got to know the family I was nannying for, I found out that they are foster parents through an organization called Dungarvin.  Dungarvin typically provides host homes for special needs adults, but they also do foster care as well.

One day, I was sitting in their kitchen staring at a magnet they had on their refrigerator that had the name Dungarvin on it.  Then it hit me.  God seemed to scream in my ear, "That's it!  That's what I have been preparing you for!"  It threw me off guard and I immediately began praying.  The funny thing is that it wasn't the first time God had directed my heart towards foster care.

I remember telling my mom at various stages and times in my life that I wanted to adopt and love on kids who needed to know God's love.  One of the main confirmations to this revelation actually came months before.  I was sitting in church listening to the pastor and all of a sudden foster care popped in my head and I was reduced to tears.  I told my husband that God had put it on my heart during the service, but we both knew that our current living situation wouldn't allow us to even think about foster care.  So we prayed, "God, if you want us to foster children and show them Your love, give us the resources to do so."

Back to the kitchen.  As I sat there, I realized that God had opened the door and all we had to do was walk through.  But, we still didn't live in a place that would be acceptable for fostering children.  So again we prayed, "You have shown us the door, Lord.  Now, give us the resources to walk through it."

Sure enough, not even a month later, we were moving into a large home that we could actually afford.

Our God is so good.

Shortly after that, I made the call to Dungarvin and we began our foster to adopt journey.

As we began the journey, I knew that I wanted to stay at home with any children that we got.  This meant that I wouldn't be able to watch the little boy I nannied for.  I knew he was starting to get attached to me and I didn't want him to become anymore attached if I knew I was just going to leave in a few months, so I told the parents my plans.  They weren't very happy, understandably so, but they went ahead and enrolled him in a different preschool.

Needless to say, we were both pretty worried about finances since I no longer had a job and we had just moved into a new home.  But, we decided that I wouldn't get a job because I would just have to leave it in the matter of only a few months to stay at home with the kiddos.  This was in January 2011.

I know we made the right choice for me to stay home during this time because God has used it to bring tremendous healing.  He has really gotten a hold of my heart and I couldn't have asked for a better seven months alone with Him.  Our marriage is stronger, my depression is gone and I simply couldn't be happier with the path He has set me on.  It has taken us a lot longer than we were originally told and we have definitely felt the effects of having only one income for seven months, but we know we will be ok because we are being obedient to the Lord.  He has provided for us thus far and I know He will continue to do so.

We know He has started this work in our lives and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He WILL be faithful to complete it.  All we have to do is be patient, obedient and diligent.  We are so excited to meet the children God has put in our hearts.  He is so faithful.

God keeps his promises.